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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 12:29:21 GMT -5
Isaac's gaze flitted over to Mary, but before he could reprimand her John jumped in. "Oh, shut up, Sunshine!" he said maturely. "That's real dignified right there. Oolalooladadlalaleve!" Once more he made his dolphin noises, while bobbing his head up and down like an angry parakeet.
"Oh, yes, it is," Isaac agreed. "Perhaps it would be best if the pair of you took your leaves. I will deal with you at a later time." He had dismissed Sunshine already. If she hadn't been so busy girating for John maybe all this irritation cuold have been avoided.
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Sly Cooper
A hermit crab
"I don't want to go to hell for all the times I said SCUBA!"
Posts: 858
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Post by Sly Cooper on Oct 24, 2010 16:49:00 GMT -5
Sunshine totally missed that she was being told to leave. So instead she looked at John and his strange head bobbing motion, and she giggled. "You look like a bobble head!" She clapped her hand in amument.
"What is that foul stench?" Jacob quickly put his hands over his nose, and there was a knock at the door.
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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 16:55:24 GMT -5
Isaac had been about to clarify his will in a manner that even Mary's underdeveloped mind would comprehend, when an undeniably foul stench wafted through the air. Instinctively one of his hands clasped around his nose. Realizing that it didn't look entirely proper, he lowered it so that the side of his pointer finger protected his nostrils. from the tainted air. Or rather, tried to protect. Nonetheless the rancid smell was powerful enough that he almost began to gag.
"Someone please open the window," he nodded towards the wide window to the outside on the far wall. It was framed by cornhusks and let in a burst of sunlight, though it was hard to tell this because Isaac swore that it seemed as though the stench was staining the air and creating a thick fog of grime.
The smell distracted him from the knock on his door.
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Sly Cooper
A hermit crab
"I don't want to go to hell for all the times I said SCUBA!"
Posts: 858
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Post by Sly Cooper on Oct 24, 2010 17:01:40 GMT -5
There was a knock again, but like Isaac Jacob was too distracted by the terrible smell. "Oh my sweet Lord, why have your cursed us with this smell?" His stomach churned the longer he was exposed to the smell. "I think opening the window actaully made it worse!"
Although Sunshine was still unaffected, she continued to clap at John Peters.
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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 17:09:39 GMT -5
Isaac reluctantly nodded in agreement with Jacob. "I believe you're correct. Close it." He didn't bother adding the polite 'please' at the end, because opening his mouth to speak was no more pleasant than just openly sniffing the air and inhaling the foul odor.
John Peters started to pace the room aggressively and rather loudly. "What smells like ass?!" he roared. Instantly, he whirled and glared accusingly at first Jacob, and then Sunshine. "What did you do?!" he accused them.
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Sly Cooper
A hermit crab
"I don't want to go to hell for all the times I said SCUBA!"
Posts: 858
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Post by Sly Cooper on Oct 24, 2010 17:13:20 GMT -5
"I didn't do anything!" Jacob exclaimed, still covering his nose.
"My Jakie didn't do anything!"
There was another knock at the door.
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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 17:18:12 GMT -5
"Of course you didn't!" John rolled his eyes at their vehement denials. "Look, nothing just happens for no reason, alright? Something made this smell! Either one of you took a giant fart, or one of you did...something and it smells! Now fess up! Which one of you did this?" he glared between the two of them. He even threw one discreet glare at Isaac. He wasn't stupid enough to actually accuse the boy preacher of anything. He figured it was frowned upon to accuse their holy seer of releasing an unholy fart unto them. But he figured that even if he didn't yell directly as Isaac, he could make him feel bad by having to listen to him scold Jacob and Sunshine.
Isaac didn't notice John's sidelong glare. Instead, he had finally heard the knocks. He hesitated, uncertain whether or not to grant entry to the individual. Either they were innocent and would find themselves thrust into a cesspool of stink, or they were the cause. Finally, he relented and called, "Enter. And slam the door behind you quickly." When the window was open things got worse. When the door was open, things would grow unbearable.
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Sly Cooper
A hermit crab
"I don't want to go to hell for all the times I said SCUBA!"
Posts: 858
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Post by Sly Cooper on Oct 24, 2010 17:25:06 GMT -5
"Look I didn't do it!" Jacob sneered, but suddenly the odor became even stronger. Damon had opened the door and was carrying the pie, if you could call the horrendous thing that, and came in offering it to Isaac.
"Isaac. My wife made this hoping you would take it as an apology, but she really can't cook. So I wouldn't eat the pie. It might kill you." Damon had worry writen all over his face.
While Sunshine was telling Damon to go away just becasue, Jacob was telling him to go away because of what he was carrying. "That thing is a pie! Go away and take that thing with you! That is enough to burn out my nose hairs!"
"I don't smell anything," Sunshine scratched her head.
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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 17:33:48 GMT -5
Isaac usually favored decorum and tried to handle himself with poise in a manner becoming of the voice of God. However, when the unholy mound of stench that Damon had dubbed 'pie' entered the room, he could not help but recoil. Recoil several feet, in fact. Generally, as much space that could be made between his nose and --- whatever that was, was better.
Because of that, he spoke to Damon with his back turned. "Tell Rebekah that I do not accept her apology. In fact, this is the opposite of making me accept her apology." Not his most dignified response, but running on lack-of-sleep, stress, and a smell that would make Satan himself cringe certainly lowered his reservations.
John Peters stared at the 'pie' with wide eyes. It was not a pie. It looked like hard, gluey cheese had been smashed together and dotted with corn. "What the hell is that?!" he cried. "Your wife is stupid! Tell her that she should just go kill herself! Ugh!"
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Sly Cooper
A hermit crab
"I don't want to go to hell for all the times I said SCUBA!"
Posts: 858
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Post by Sly Cooper on Oct 24, 2010 17:39:49 GMT -5
"Sooo-- I can dump the pie?" Damon really didn't want to go back home and tell his wife that the pie was rejected, Isaac was mad, and that John Peters wanted her to kill herself. If fact he was quite sure that if he told her that he would end up with his head bit off. Although in the current situation he wasn't getting it much better. But it was more attention than anyone ever paid to him. "What if I make an actual pie instead of a mound of yuckfest pie, and give it to you. Would I be forgiven then?"
"Please Damon, I'm begging you, ask questions later and dump that pie!" Jacob shooed him out.
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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 17:45:23 GMT -5
Isaac nodded vigorously in agreement with Jacob, though he still refused to turn and look at Damon and lose a precious two inches between his nose and the 'yuckfest pie' as Damon dubbed it. He couldn't properly come up with any sort of response to anything while the stench wafting off of the "pie" wafted through the air. He couldn't think. He couldn't think.
John Peters couldn't think very well either, but profanities took little thought at all. He released a stream of them, coupled with noises that sounded suspiciously like dolphin noises, war cries, tubas, and dying rabbits. "You douchebag! Eee eee eee eee eee eeee eee! Asshole! Your wife is such a skank! Oooooooooooooeeee argh argh argh. ACK!" The last one was not one of his normal noises, but legitimate noise of peril. His noises required him to open his mouth wide and inhale large clumps of the tainted air.
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Sly Cooper
A hermit crab
"I don't want to go to hell for all the times I said SCUBA!"
Posts: 858
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Post by Sly Cooper on Oct 24, 2010 17:50:29 GMT -5
Jacob almost kicked Damon to get him to leave, with the pie, faster, becasue nothing seemed fast enough. "But where do I take it?"
"Far far away. To the moon! To Mars! To Canada! We don't care so long as we never have to smell that again!" Ironicly, the only reason Jacob was there is becasue he wanted directions to the girls' communal home so he could find Damon, and now that he had he wanted him to go far far away.
"How about the outhouse?" Damon squeaked as he was pushed onto the sidewalk.
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Post by Bunny on Oct 24, 2010 17:55:14 GMT -5
"No!" John had followed Jacob out, as eager as the other boy was to chase Damon from the vicinity. "I'm going to want to go take a dump there later, and when I do, I don't want to smell..." he waved wildly towards The Pie, "that!"
The pie was growing farther and farther away. Relieved, Isaac was able to put his hand down, and turn around, shuddering at the memory of the demonic pie.
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