Corn Pies and Perverts

[Bunny]

"No. Cowards are too afraid to lie. Stupid people tell the truth, not brave people!" she fumed, uncrossing her arms and shaking a coiled fist at him. "And I'm not annoying! You are! You're always so---so---- Let's get a divorce!" The words flew from her mouth without her permission, but she never really thought before she talked, anyway. Instantly, she clapped her hands over her mouth and recoiled. She had never heard of anyone getting divorced in Gatlin, before or after the purging. It might not be smiled upon.

[Sly Cooper]

"We aren't even married! We never where, cos we never consummated the thing!" Damon spouted off angrily, but then recoiled. "--let's--- make that pie--" He went to change the subject.

[Bunny]

Rebekah nodded, relieved that the subject was dropped. "Yes. Let's make that pie!" she agreed, thrusting her fist into the air and shouting with jubulation, acting as though the argument had never occurred. And, in five seconds, her mind became so focused on the corn-pie that she really did forget it. At least for the moment. "Right. I know how to make pie. But I forget."

[Sly Cooper]

"You said we needed to boil the corn. So lets boil the corn," Damon went back to being a mouse, "And-- You were going to make the crust with the inside of the corn."

[Bunny]

Rebekah stared blankly at Damon. "I forget how to make the crust."
ooc: Picture above: the great American novel.

[Sly Cooper]

"You take flour and some kind of fatty liquid substance-- like butter or lard-- and mix it till its kind of crust texture-- and then you flatten it out." Damon blinked, he only ever made two pies in his life, so even then he wasn't entirely sure about the process. "So I can going up the inside part of the corn so we got-- flour kinda-- stuff."

[Bunny]

"Oh." Rebekah brightened instantly now that she had a plan. "I think we might actually have flour. We'll have to make our own butter," she added. "I don't think we have any extra..." she pouted. It would take a lot of effort to make butter. Another thing she wasn't entirely certain how to make. "Do we need...eggs? Milk?"

[Sly Cooper]

"i don't know that much about pies," Damon confessed, "I think the insides have egss-- ususally-- Making butter could take days! Isaac can't wait that long! And even if he could-- my stomach certainly can't"

[Bunny]

"Neither can my back," Rebekah agreed, recalling that the reason she was making this pie was to bribe Isaac into make her whipped-back hurt less. He'd realize that the punishment her gave her was unjust and take it back.

Her dark gaze flittered around the outskirts of the communal homes, searching for a suitable substance to replace butter. She began rummaging through the dusty cabinets. Ultimately, all she was able to find was some a bucket spoiled milk someone had abandoned on one of the stovetops.

"This will work!" Rebekah giggled, grabbing it unfazed by the rotten smell.

[Sly Cooper]

Damon's eyes widened. He didn't really think they should use spoiled milk, becasue poisoning Isaac wasn't the way to get him to listen or get his praise. But he didn't want to say anything to his wife, becasue no doubt if he did she would bit off his head. "Um-- well if we cooked it we would be cooking out all the youckiness-- and cheese is make with curds-- and no one eats the crust anyways, right?" He faked a smile, as he pulled out excuses to make himself feel better.

[Bunny]

"Well, I do," Rebekah said absently as she started to prepare a fire. "I like the crust. I wonder if Isaac will share the pie with us. So..." she grabbed for the bucket of milk. "Do we just dump this in, then? Yeah." She shrugged, didn't wait for Damon to agree, and poured the soured liquid into the pot, grabbed a spoon, and began to stir it. "That's what we do, right? What else do we put in there? Eggs! Yes."

When Damon left her alone earlier, she had taken a stop by one of the chicken coops. She fished one of the eggs she had taken (read: stolen) and dumped into the pot. Shell and all.

"Shells add nutrients," she explained to Damon. After a pause she asked: "So how long do we let them cook on the stove before they are crust?"

[Sly Cooper]

Damon didn't have the nerve to tell Rebekah that there were no eggs in crust and even aside from that you didnt cook the crust till it went in with the pie. I will have to let Isaac know not to eat the pie-- that thing is going to be corn flavored death at the rate Rebekah cooks. He smiled at her and pulled an answer out of nowhere, since there wasn't one, "Not very long-- few minutes"

[Bunny]

"Oh. You tell me when to take it out of the oven, then," Rebekah shrugged, and, forgetting about the matter, began to organize the ears of corn she had collected earlier. "We need a hammer," she mused. "We need a hammer to smash these into bits. Then we'll cook the soot with water. Then we'll stuff it into the crust and give it to Isaac." She beamed at the thought. Isaac would certainly be pleased with her culinary talents. How often did girls bake him a pie?

She shuddered. Probably not often. He was so short. But maybe this would send him the wrong message. She felt in her very core that Isaac had wanted to marry her before giving her to Damon. Maybe this would tell him that she was interested in him. And maybe he'd have her killed for adultery. But only after she rebuffed his advances like a good girl.

"OH NO!" she howled. "Baking this pie will get me crucified!"

[Sly Cooper]

"That's the understatement of the century--" Damon paused realizing that she was most likely not thinking about how deadly the pie was. "Why is the pie getting you crucified?'

[Bunny]

Rebekah didn't catch Damon's sarcasm. "Isaac has a crush on me, remember?" she cried, repeating her completely baseless delusion. "If I give him the pie, he'll think I'm coming onto him! And then he'll flirt with me back and try to, you know, consummate with me!" She widened her eyes for emphasis at the misuse of the word 'consummate'. "Then I'll turn him away like a good girl! But then he'll have evidence that I was an adultress from the pie and have me killed out of spite! Oh!" she slapped her forehead. "How could I be so stupid?"