Corn Pies and Perverts

[Sly Cooper]

Well she might have been crucified for the pies, but it certainly wouldn't be for flirting. Damon had already been thinking of a way to give Isaac a deadly pie alert when Rebekah decided against giving the pie to him anyway. And deep inside Damon was relieved for that. "Well-- he could try and fornicate with you, but even that would be against Isaac's beliefs. Remember, he a good little preacher boy. And-- I don't think you have anyting to worry about. But maybe wouldn't shouldn't give him the pie-- you know-- just in case."

[Bunny]

"But if I don't give him the pie, what motive will he have to take back the beating!?" As Rebekah shouted her objection, the boiling curdled milk ran over the edge of the pot and spilled against the walls of the oven.

"Oh. Eureka! I know!" She slammed her fist against her palm. "I'll flirt with him! He'll want me to like him and hurt less. Then I rebuff him, but he won't have the evidence that I was an adultress! Perfect! Flawless! Like me - except my plan also has Double Dees!" She frowned at her flat chest.

[Sly Cooper]

Flirting with Isaac seemed like a worse idea than the pie o' death, but it was Rebekah, the worse the idea the better. "Erm-- but if you flirt with him, then you're esecially giving him the pie-- which I think the crust is done--" he looked over at the boiling, smelly yuckfest. "But-- if you think you should--"

[Bunny]

"The pie would be flirting, but it would also be giving him hard evidence of my flirting! If I just verbally flirt with him, there'd be no proof!" She giggled at her deviousness, the fact that Isaac's word was law and he needed no proof to have her killed for adultry did not occur to her.

"Hrm. Or maybe...maybe I could get someone else to flirt with him. Someone who isn't married, so couldn't be killed for adultry. How about...Joan?" she spoke the name of the first girl that came to mind.

[Sly Cooper]

"Rebekah I don't think-- Maybe we should just let Isaac pick his own-- unmarried-- woman. And just not flirt or have someone else flirt with him. I mean-- Or I can gove him the pie and say it's an offering for a request to heal your back." Oh no, Rebekah's scheme was just getting worse and worse-- although admitedly the Hemingford heist wasn't very smart-- "Or what about-- if we--" Nope nothing.

[Bunny]

But Rebekah's eyes had already lit up at Damon's proposed plan even as he rescinded the ofer and tried to come up with something new. "That's....that's brilliant!" she gasped, clasping her hands over her mouth with awe. "If you give the pie to Isaac he won't accuse me of adultry! He'll just accuse you of buggary!" Not giving Damon time to digest the fact that she thought Isaac would accuse him of sodomy, she leaped over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You aren't a coward!" she cooed. "You'd be willing to take a grave punishment for me just to get my unjust one taking away! You're such a sweetie!" She giggled.

[Sly Cooper]

"That was probably the nicest thing I've heard you say to me ever!" Damon's eyes had also lit up because he was too busy being happy that he got a compliment out of Rebekah. "I will take the pie to-- Isaac." And it hit him like a piano falling from a ten story window. "Erm-- Right-- taking the pie to Isaac," the yuckfest pie o' death! Now I'm going to get crucified instead.

[Bunny]

"Yup. What's wrong?" Rebekah tilted her body forward as if to examine Damon with better accuracy. Her husband's chipper mood had suddenly and dramatically transformed itself into the jitters. "But the pie isn't done yet," she added, deciding not to mull over Damon's mood swings and turned back to the oven to retrieve the boiling pot of curdled milk. She peered at it curiously, unphazed by the rancid stench oozing off of it.

"Huh," she mused. "It isn't hard. But I guess it'll harden in time." With no explanation to Damon, she grabbed one of the ears of corn and dug it in, still wrapped in husks. "For flavoring," she murmured.

[Sly Cooper]

Damon's nose crinkled at the thought of the no doubt evil pie, it was less than appetizing, in fact, he went from being very hungry to somewhat sick. "Yeah flavoring-- that pie is going to need it."

[Bunny]

"No, I think it will taste fine, all together. It's just the crust that needed flavoring - to match the rest!" She giggled, and retrieved some of the corn kernels she had sheared and had boiled just moments earlier. "I need to put this in the crust," she told Damon. "Do me a favor and make the crust, um, bowl-shaped, would you? And set some aside as a lid."

[Sly Cooper]

Hmm-- how am I supposed to make this bowl shaped? Damon looked down at the shapeless lump of you're going strait to hell if you give this to Isaac pie crust. "Sure thing-- Rebekah--" His face turned green as he went to handle it, to some how form the beast into something that at least looks like an edible pie. Once he was done, it still looked more like two piles of cottage cheese, but that was the best Damon could do considering. "How's this?"

[Bunny]

"It looks like a hunk of cheese," Rebekah observed. "Whoever made a pie that looks like cheese? Isaac will take it as an insult!" She pouted, troubled by the thought, but finally shrugged. "Well, I'm not the one giving it to him, so I bet he'll never know." With that, she grabbed her boiling corn kernels and poured it into the half that she tooked to be the bottom.

"Put the other one on top as a lid, and our pie will be done!"

[Sly Cooper]

"But you have to bake it--" Damon stopped right there, the argument was futile. So instead he shut up, and put the lid on top of the-- pie thingy. "Are you going to come with me to give the pie to Isaac?"

[Bunny]

'Oh, no!" Rebekah giggled at the very thought. "Remember what I said earlier? If I give it to him, he'll think I'm flirting with him, flirt back, get angry when I refuse his advances, and have me executed for adultry against you out of spite and use the pie as a gift. But if you give it to him, he'll think you're flirting with him, accuse you of buggery, and have you killed. If, you know...he thinks that,' she said, not wanting to alarm Damon too too much.

[Sly Cooper]

Ultimately, if Rebekah didn't come with him he would probably just dump the pie off somewhere and not even mention it to Isaac because it was a great way to get crucified, because poisoning your leader generally has negative consequences. "Okay, I just hope that he can take away the pain without you there-- and-- Wait! I don't want to flirt with Isaac!"